- I stayed at home most of the weekend. Two full days of avoiding people after a stressful week is really nice. I watched a lot of TV, read a lot, painted... hung out with James. I feel far less likely to beat on people this morning.

- I made chocolate chip cookies yesterday. My cookies are always flat and I couldn't understand why. They taste fine, but they're not "puffy" cookies. I looked on the Internet for an answer, and I may be mixing them too much (something about getting too much air in there or making the butter too melted). I'll try to avoid using the electric mixer next time and see how that goes. I still have yummy cookies.

- School is still going well. I'm still ahead on assignments and such. I'm still looking forward to having more than one class at a time to keep me busier. I've only gotten one grade back so far, but it was an A, so I'm satisfied.

- I'm done with NaNoWriMo. I went back and forth about it all weekend, but I think I'm done. Next year, I'll pick something less depressing to write about. I did manage to get out 16,000 words and some negative feelings. I consider that a minor success.

NaNoWriMo is killing me, one word at a time. I have to fight myself to go back to it, every time. It's like exercise. It's good for me, but I hate doing it. I'm writing about death and cancer. Morbid, but therapeutic. A lot of it is going pretty much like I expected it to, but every now and again, I'll be writing and something unexpected will come out. Stuff I didn't realize I felt. I know it sounds so cliche, but it's true. And I really don't want to think about this stuff anymore. I have enough to keep me busy where I could push this stuff to the back of my head forever if I wanted. Bringing it forward.... looking at it in black and white... I don't want to do it anymore.

This is why I've never lasted very long with a therapist, by the way.

Only 35,000 more words to go.

I am participating in a swap right now where we exchange blog URLs.... so some new folks might be stopping by. I also recommended (to my swap partners) that they check out the blog list on the right hand side... you might find me boring, but those folks are awesome. :)

If you're stopping by from the swap, please leave your URL in your comment... I'll come visit your site, too.

I have two defect escalations today. One is very technical. I had to have James help me brush up on how things work now since I've been out of an actual technical job for over three years, but I get it now and I'm prepared. I'm actually excited. I love having technical discussions. Makes me feel like... I have skill.

Anyway, the other one... I have five hours to figure out how to reason professionally in front of my Director with an argument of, "It's not fair." They know they didn't meet the requirement. They have no argument to try to prove that they did. They just don't like the rule. Some days, it's probably hard to tell the difference between a process lead in this organization and a kindergarten teacher.

Oy.

* more than 10,000 words. yea, so I didn't make 15,000 by the end of the weekend... and that puts me even farther behind overall now, but I'm catching up quickly. I'll get there.
* James finished a 10 mile race this weekend (not 10K, but 10 miles!). It was the 2nd race in the distance challenge he's participating in. I'm so proud of him. His next race is a half-marathon.
* lunch with the family on Sunday
* Robyn's new kitten
* tonight is Girls Night ... my girlfriends from high school are coming over tonight for food, drinks, and lots of laughing. I'm very much looking forward to that.
* I'm ahead (by a lot) on my class. I can't wait 'til I start taking more than one class at a time. I'm bored. I want more to do, please. :)
* this really fantastic meeting with my Director (read: 3rd line manager) on Friday where I looked prepared and intelligent and assertive. She asked me to join her on an escalation call this week to represent our team.